Take a cue from Santa, not exactly the pinnacle of physical health, and use these five tips to ensure that you put on those holiday pounds.
1. Taste Test Your Cookies
Making holiday cookies for family and friends is a long-standing tradition for millions of Americans. Amateur cookie experts around the country have their specialty--that one cookie they’ve been baking for years. What’s your specialty? And are you resting on your laurels? Have you gotten a new oven? Tweaked ingredients? Is that cookie really the same deliciousness you’ve always concocted? This year try at least one or two cookies from each batch...just to be sure.
2. Two Words: Egg Nog
Sure, one glass of red wine each day is good for the heart, but why stop there? The holidays are a time for indulgence. So instead of that 100 calorie glass of fermented grape juice, reach for that delicious glass of milk, cream, eggs and bourbon--egg nog.
3. Leave the Athletics to the Athletes
The professional football season is coming down to the wire; teams (maybe even your team!) are fighting for playoff contention. The college football season is reaching its climax, dozens of bowl games played in the waning days of 2012 and the opening days of 2013. If the gridiron isn’t for you, NBA and NCAA basketball is ubiquitous. With all these games to watch, there is no reason you need to leave the couch. Let the best athletes in the world do the competing. You can just reach for another handful of potato chips and a beer.
4. Forget the Resolutions
What kind of masochist makes self-improvement promises only to fail eighty percent of the time? That’s just mean! You’re pretty happy, right? So why try and change anything? This New Year, don’t force yourself to eat better or exercise more. Keep smoking; keep drinking. Those New Year’s resolution promises are just frivolous nonsense.
5. Invite Your Mother-In-Law To Stay For A While
That difficult person on your gift shopping list. The impending credit card bill. The awkward office holiday party. All this stress is inevitable, so why not pile it on and ask your mother-in-law to stay in your house for a week? While we always seem to look forward to the holidays all year ‘round, we conveniently forget the stress that this time of year always seems to bring. Fear not, the holidays also seem to bring a whole lot of food to the table. So, when the stress comes your way, take solace in some delicious sugary treats or a turkey and mayonnaise sandwich. It’ll make you feel better, even if just for a moment.
Good luck with your weight gain goals over the holidays. Remember, it just means more of you to love!